WORRY and ISSUES

Seating here this evening facing this laptop, so many issues came to my mind as well as so many like anger, rage. hope for a better tomorrow, disappointment and gratefulness that I am alive. I was to go for mid week revival service in the Church but was tired and a bit depressed.

Today again, the little business that I help to oversee, did not collect the goods they had paid for. This is the 3rd and last collection for this year. it was really demoralising and frustrating.
When the lady that goes for the collection called late in the afternoon, my heart skips a beat. Normally if all goes well, she does not call me but hands  over the goods to the agents that sell for them. Its the agents that will call and we negotiate the rate before they start selling. So when the young lady called, i was scared knowing its bad news.

I had to call the owner immediately to inform him that his company's name was not on the list of those to be paid. Although the man took it in good faith, I was really sad because I  was expecting some financial compensation for all my efforts this month.

You can just imagine with what I am going through, my husband came in with this attitude that i hate. Not wanting to be angry i came into the bedroom and just sat facing this laptop.
 I am just wondering why the company name was omitted a third time and what the offense is. There has been no report, publication or query from the organisation that they went to collect these goods that this our company had broken any law so its really disturbing.

All the hope that after the sales, some money will come to me and the owner will also  give me some money for Christmas are all dashed. I had planned to buy a new gearbox, and 2 tyres for the car and many other things for the house. Now nothing. How do I approach this man to give me money to fix my car when he had not done any business this month?  Man proposes but GOD disposes.

Why is it that when trouble comes, its not in trickle.  Maybe thats why i could not sleep yesterday. I finihed praying around 12:15midnight but was just tossing on the bed till 1am. After managing to sleep, I woke up around 3:30am, went to ease myself and still took a while before i slept again. I should have known God wanted me to pray but I was just tired so i did not.

Things are not going the way that  pleases me. It makes me question my confidence and prayers.  Many that I know and see are not praying or putting in so much effort.
There is no way someone's hope or expectation is dashed that you will not be weakened or sad.
But I know God is Faithful and Merciful, I know God will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear.
As for my husband, that's another story for another day.