UTAZI- BETEL LEAVES

A friend forwarded this article to me when I complained about cough and constipation. I laughed at her and asked her to sell the info to those hawkers on Ikorodo/Oshodi Route. But she insisted that she had taken the leaves and was relieved of her incessant constipation.
Anyway, I read the article and decided to get the leaves and use. Hmmm, its bitter but it worked and that is why I am posting the message here for you my friends.
The leaves is very common and cheap too. With a hundred Naira, you can get a bunch in the local market. I am not sure you can find it in Shoprite o or Malls.

21 Amazing Medicinal Uses Of Betel Leaf  (Utazi or Utasi)

Betel leaf is a heart shaped leaf that exhibits unmatched medicinal properties. Betel leaf’s medicinal uses are hugely underrated, but highly efficient. Take a dive in the world of medicinal uses of betel leaf and get amazed!

1. Analgesic:

Betel leaf is an amazing analgesic that offers relief from pain. It can be used to alleviate pain caused due to cuts, bruises, rashes, inflammation (internal as well as external), indigestion, constipation, etc. You can simply make a paste of betel leaf and apply to it the bruised area (meant for external application). You can also chew betel leaves and drink its juice to get relief from internal pain.

2. Eases Constipation:

Betel leaf contains the goodness of anti-oxidants. Anti-oxidants clear free radicals from the body. This restores the normal PH level of an upset stomach. As a result, constipation is eased. You can simply chew the betel leaf and ingest its juice on an empty stomach each day to get relief from constipation. Another way is mincing betel leaf with water and storing it overnight. Drink the stored water on an empty stomach the next day.

For children suffering from hard stool problem, a suppository made of the stalk of betel leaf dipped in castor oil can be introduced into the rectum.

3. Improves Digestion:

Betel leaf is good for digestion. Its carminative, intestinal, anti-flatulent and gastro-protective properties made chewing the leaf after a meal very popular. The essential oil can be massaged on the stomach as it helps in the secretion of digestive acids and gastric juices. For children suffering from indigestion, boil betel leaf with a little pepper in water. Strain it, and give two teaspoons of this mixture to children twice a day for an instant cure.

Betel leaf thus increases the body’s metabolism. This triggers circulation and stimulates the intestines to absorb vital minerals and nutrients. Waste gets removed easily through better sphincter performance. Better sphincter performance is also an outcome of the stimulation caused by betel leaf.

4. Reduces Gastric Pain:

Betel leaf is essentially very helpful in improving GERD. It keeps the duodenum free of harmful free radicals and toxins. This further reduces acidity caused due to imbalanced PH levels of the stomach. Optimal PH levels ensure that bloating is eased. Fowl gas passes through sphincter contraction and expansion. This ensures that gastric reflux is eased. Hence, gastric pain subsides easily with constant use.

5. Increases Hunger:

Decreased appetite is also an outcome of upset stomach. Normal PH levels trigger the hunger hormone to get secreted in optimal amounts. Betel leaf is highly capable of restoring the normal PH levels of stomach by flushing out all the toxins. Hence, it increases appetite and promotes health.

6. Promotes Oral Health:

The betel leaf helps to refresh breath, protects against germs, bacteria and other oral pathogens in the mouth. When you chew a betel leaf, it cleanses the mouth. It prevents tooth decay. It helps to strengthen the gums and reinforces the teeth. It prevents oral bleeding. This protective shield can be enhanced by gargling, morning and night, daily, with one drop of betel leaf oil mixed in one cup of warm water. You can also boil some betel leaf in water and use it as a rinse and gargle. It also helps to treat sore mouth.

7. Treats Respiratory Problems

Betel leaf is very good for treating respiratory problems. It helps to treat cough and cold. It also brings much relief to people suffering from chest and lung congestion and asthma. It even helps to cure breathing problems. You can apply mustard oil to the leaf, warm it and keep it on the chest to cure congestion. Alternatively, boil a few leaves with cardamom, cloves, cubeb and cinnamon in two cups of water. Reduce it up to 1 ½ cup. Strain and drink this concoction three times a day to find instant relief.

8. Relieves Cough:

Betel leaves are amazing ways of easing constant cough. They come loaded with the goodness of antibiotics. These antibiotics ease phlegm and also reduce the inflammation caused due to constant coughing.

How To Make?

Simply boil betel leaves in water.
Add cloves and cardamom to it and heat again.
Drink at-least 3 times a day.
This is an amazing anti-whooping recipe that eases cough with constant use.

9. Eases Bronchitis:

One of the best betel leaf medicinal uses is that it also acts as an amazing remedy for bronchitis. It reduces inflammation all along the bronchial chord and lungs. This leads to dilated phlegm. Hence, the chest congestion is eased that further improves breathing.

10. Antiseptic Benefits:

Betel leaf is an amazing anti-septic as well. It is rich in poly-phenols, especially chavicol.. Thus, it offers dual protection from germs. Being a good antiseptic, it can be applied on cuts to kill germs. And since it is loaded with poly-phenols, it is used for treating inflammation such as arthritis and orchitis. Local application of the betel leaf acts a pain reliever and an anti-inflammatory agent.

11. Antifungal Benefits:

Betel leaf is also an amazing anti-fungal remedy. Fungal infections commonly occur on moist body parts. Thus, betel leaf makes an amazing natural remedy that prevents fungal infections naturally.

12. Relief From Back Pain And Muscular Tensions:

Betel leaf is a good remedy for people suffering from lower back pain or lumbago. A hot poultice of betel leaves or juice mixed with refined coconut oil applied on the loins gives good relief. Massaging the lower back with betel leaf oil and a carrier oil helps to ease the pain. It also provides relief from muscular tension pains, redness, and swelling.

13. Treats Water Retention And Urination:

Betel leaf is a good diuretic. Crush a betel leaf and extract its juice, mix it with a little-diluted milk and drink it. This helps to treat water retention in the body. It also helps in easing urination for people suffering from scanty or obstructed urination.

14. Heals Wounds And Infection:

Betel leaves medicinal properties includes healing of wounds and infection. Crush a few leaves, extract the juice, and apply it on the wound or infection. Then put a betel leaf over it and wrap it with a bandage. The wound will heal within two days as it prevents the growth of destructive microbes.

15. Improves Alertness:

If you are feeling sluggish or suffering from nervous exhaustion, the betel leaf is a good remedy to improve alertness. A teaspoon of betel leaf juice with honey acts as a tonic. It can be taken twice a day. It improves mental functioning and treats debility. It also energises and motivates people, thereby curing them of their sluggishness.

16. Treats Headache:

For people suffering from headache, the betel leaf is a good cure. It has analgesic and cooling properties. You can apply the betel leaf on your forehead to ease headaches. You can also use betel leaf oil for the same.

17. Acne Cure And Other Skin Disorders:

Betel leaf is a good remedy for acne, black spots, etc. Its antimicrobial properties help to treat skin ulceration, allergies, itchiness, and body odour. Crush a few betel leaves and extract its juice, mix with a little turmeric and apply on the acne and allergies to find good relief. Betel leaves boiled in water can be used for washing face and skin to treat and prevent skin problems. Regular usage will help clear spots and acne within a few days. The powerful antimicrobial and antiseptic properties help to treat skin infections.

18. Stops Earache:

Earaches can be irritating and painful. The betel leaf juice or oil is a good remedy for this problem. Mix betel leaf juice or oil and coconut oil and put two drops in the ear. You will find instant relief.

19. Vaginal Hygiene:

For women suffering from vaginal itching and vaginal discharge, betel leaf is a good home remedy. The betel leaves are boiled and are used as a genital wash. In some countries, it is widely used by women after giving birth as it causes genital shrinkage.

20. Prevents Body Odour:

The betel leaf helps to prevent body odour. You can add the juice of betel leaf or oil in your bath water to remain fresh the whole day. You can also drink a concoction made of few betel leaves soaked in boiled water, with a spoon of white sugar added to it. It prevents the unpleasant smell of perspiration and menstruation.

21. Nose Bleed:

Betel leaf is a good remedy for nosebleed. Many young children suffer from it when they play outdoors in the hot sun. The betel leaf helps to stop the blood flow. Roll a fresh betel leaf and insert it in the nosebleed. It takes about 30 minutes to stop the blood flow.

The betel leaf can cure and prevent various ailments and illnesses. It is better to use these home remedies than take prescription drugs, which can be costly and have various kinds of side effects. Betel leaf is available in most parts of the world, and if not, then the essential oil of the betel leaf too can be used to reap the medicinal benefits of this wonderful plant.  However, be cautious of not consuming it with tobacco and other hazardous products

MERCY found Olajumoke Orisaguna

I saw this Poem somewhere about the Favour and Mercy of GOD on Olajumoke Orisaguna,, the poor local bread hawker who has been transformed. I have to share it here.What happened to her can only be GOD.
He alone can turn around one's captivity faster than  imagined.

From her "village," she moved to the city
Not to sell her virtue and body for mammon
But to work hard and with all the hard-work,
It was only a profit of 1$ a day

It was challenging, with a baby and far away husband
She persevered, she kept walking and hawking
With the tray of bread balanced on her head
She sought for her daily bread

Everything she needed to make it is with her
But she needed a "TY Bello"
And chances are that they would never meet
For It is not likely "TY Bello" eats that kind of "bread"

But providence and favour collided
And she walked into a photo shoot
And the photo went viral with "favourable" comments
May you meet your helper of destiny!

And they sought for her
And sent for her
And she was found
And the rest is not just history but historic

Probably you will believe now the Holy Writ that says
When the Lord turned again the captivity of Olajumoke Orisaguna
We were like them that dream...

Then was our mouth with filled laughter
And our tongue with singing...
For I can bet that her husband would have danced
In the new apartment without drums...

Some scriptures sound unbelievable
But now you can relate when God says
He will lift you from the dunghill and cause you to sit with the princes!

That is one story
It can be replicated, not exact copy and paste
But the same God over all is rich unto all

May favour locate you today
May you be transported from lack to much
May they fight and rush to bless you
May your name be heard throughout the world

Don't forget.
She didn't have to sleep with anybody
She didn't have to compromise her virtue
She didn't have to soil her conscience
She only needed to keep trying
Until Mercy found her

Few days back, Google does not know "Orisaguna"
But today...the white man is forced to pronounce that name!

She could not even speak one line of English Langauge
So it is not about your phonetics
It is about the help of God
You can speak all the phonetics in this world
But if you lack help, you are on your own!

God does not call the qualified
He qualifies the called!

It doesn't matter where you are, what you know or who you don't know
As long as you know your creator
it is a matter of time...

May you see help
May divinity smile upon your humanity...
May you receive help that only God can give!

Contracts
A free luxury house in a plush area
A free school on Language development with Poise
An exposure like never before
I bet some SUV, wonder on wheels will soon follow...
All for this village girl, bread seller...
But that was then!

May the MERCY of God find you!
May His grace locate you!
May favour climb upon your labour!
May you be at the right place at the right Time!

OLAJUMOKE ORISAGUNA from STREET to STARDOM

I do not know the full meaning of ORISAGUNA, but I know ORI means head in Yoruba. This lady's head did not disgrace her.




Its often said when life gives you a Lemon (bitter experience in Life), you should turn it around to favour and benefit you by making a lemonade(a sweet refreshing drink, a good Life) for yourself.
To me that applies to those who have the opportunity to be given a lemon, something that one can converts to benefit the person.
In the case of OLAJUMOKE ORISAGUNA,  she had no lemon. Even if she had, she may not know how to use it for her benefit but she had something else, a date with DESTINY.




As the Story goes, Olajumoke as usual was hawking her agege bread on the street that fateful day. She walked into the set where TY Bello was photographing a UK pop star, Tinie Tempah on the street of Lagos. I read also that Jumoke went and asked if anybody wanted to buy bread. They said no and asked her to walk away as she was blocking the view of the photographer. If she had walked away, the story would have been different but she stood and her story changed for the best forever.


 Olajumoke - The Super Model

 
 Olajumoke  - The Agege Bread Seller on the Street

TY Bello said that when she walked into the shoot, “She seemed a little confused.”  She went further to say “Some people were asking her to walk past really quickly, others were asking her to stay, and she was just in limbo. I said ‘is it okay to take your photograph?’ And she nodded ok.”

A few days later however, l sat with my Filmmaker friend Emma, and as we combed through go-pro footage's to see if we captured the very moment… I noticed Jumoke, the bread hawker from the Sabo market bakery, who walked entirely by coincidence unto the set of our style shoot for Tinnie Tempah.

.

My subject of interest was the Okada driver that had slowed down just before she arrived. Okada riders have that cool Lagos vibe and always happen to add a bit of swag to street portraits. I was wrong to have paid her such little attention because I noticed every frame with her in it was perfect. I had found a second subject in the Tinnie Tempah story, a young beautiful hawker

When the edition of THISDAY Style came out last week and the images hit social media, I was proven right as this girl split the limelight with the main subject effortlessly. Questions and comments started to fly: Was she a model? How did we convince the model to balance all that bread on her head?

The buzz about her multiplied when I clarified that she  indeed wasn’t a model at all but simply a bread-seller who stumbled on our set. I immediately began my search for her, if these many people felt she was beautiful enough to be a model, then maybe she was meant to be one! I was going to find a way to make it happen.

I had assistants leave word we were  searching for her with mechanics in the area where we photographed her and to my delight, the very next day she showed up at my studio “Aso kan na ni mo wo kiri lati ana" meaning I have been wearing the same outfit since yesterday. Jumoke the model the Internet has been searching for weeks speaks almost no English.

She explained how someone showed her her own photograph in this same outfit on his phone from Facebook. A mallam then led her to my studio that morning. She narrated her journey to Lagos. She was a hair stylist from lre in Osun state but was not making enough profit between she and her husband, a sliding door installer from the same village, to care for their two young children.

At the invitation of a distant relative who knew someone operating a bakery, she relocated to Lagos with her 14 month old daughter to give bread hawking a try, leaving her husband and older 5 year old behind. As I listened to her, I wondered if the beauty I had seen on my screen as I edited my image was a fluke.. well until she smiled, I realized that I was wrong! I had in fact, underestimated the beauty of this 27 year old woman.

That is how 2 weeks ago, Jumoke Orisaguna transformed from semi-Literate agege bread seller to an international super model with endorsements from multinationals and banks.

This can only be GOD. When HE opens the door, no man can shut. This is truly divine intervention.
There are many tall handsome men  and beautiful women who have been going from one Modeling Agency to the other for jobs who had not gotten. And here is someone who was not dreaming of it not to talk of searching for it and behold the job just dropped on her lap.
This can only be GOD.

Some people think she is going to be bewildered by a lot of things, especially in the fashion and modeling world in Nigeria.
Some even say the industry that she has been thrust into, confuses even the 'experienced’ talents. But I know TY Bello is a Christian and a good woman. She will help and nurture her.
I know with her, no one will take advantage of her lack of education, lack of experience and naivety to ruin her life.

Olajumoke Orisaguna has been featured on CNN!
In an Interview with CNN’s Stephanie Busari, Olajumoke and TY Bello shared the story of how photo bombing a shoot with International star, Tinie Tempah, has changed her life in ways no one thought was possible. From a bread seller to a model and is now on her way to gaining International fame and prominence.

As GOD did it for Olajumoke, He will do it for us all in Jesus Name.

ITS ADAM AND EVE, NOT ADAM & STEVE

Yesterday, wednesday 20th January, the morning devotion from Our Daily Manna was titled '' LINDA BARNETTE:  I CHOOSE GOD RATHER THAN MAN.''
This woman decided to relinquish the elected position she had held for 24years rather than issue a license to same-sex couples saying 'I choose to obey God rather than man. She refused to commit a sin by supporting such ungodly relationship. Sh did well.

The topic reminded me of the many headlines  last year on  Gay Marriages and transgender issues. The issues became so loud and publicly accepted last year as many people involved in such relationships and the so called activists were celebrating the America's supreme Court verdict approving  gay marriages.
 To me,  it was absurd and nauseating to see 2 men hugging and kissing openly. It was really disgusting.

.

This woman, Kim Davies too refused to issue marriage license to a gay couple because she is a christian and the authority came down hard on her. The write up below is purportedly from a christian who claimed Kim was paid to work and not display her faith. How do you work and give consent to something the Bible prohibits?


This person claimed as a christian, we are to love everyone regardless of who or what they are, That it is wrong to discriminate. But my Bible says we should not be unequally yoked with unbeliever, a sinner, someone that is disobeying God's commandment or someone leaving the natural use of the opposite sex and burning in lust for another etc.
Then I asked, why would a man leave a woman created to be  his helpmate by GOD and decide  to go into a romantic relationship with a fellow man or a woman falling in love with another woman.
What is the attraction? What is the gain? Just like this young man below, God created a man and then a woman. The Bible says a man shall leave his family and cleave to his wife, Eve a woman and not a man,
What is wrong with humanity?




I remembered when we were in the secondary school, i went to a boarding school, lesbianism was really rampart but i was so young and scared that i did not take part or was lured into it. Also, my school mother was really aggressive and ever protective that those silly teenagers never came near.
Even though some of the girls knew it was wrong but they still indulged in it.  In the boys hostels, the same evil was going on. Unfortunately some of them grew up and could not stop again.

During my Youth Service in Kaduna, it was a common sight to see younger men or boys  fully made up and  parading around some of the establishments. We were told, they were wives of some of the big men. It was alwys so disgusting seeing them shamelessly parading around.

But was so glad that the Nigerian Government banned such ungodly relationships and added jail term if any is caught. Nigeria is not so free or Nigerians so  promiscuous and shameless to openly practice same sex or whatever nonsense they call it.

Like Linda Barnett said,  'The Supreme Court's decision to allow same sex marriages violates my core values as a Christian. My final authority is the Bible'",  I  state here too that the Bible is my true and  final Authority.
Gay marriage is against the Word of God as stated  in Genesis 2:24-" A man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his WIFE..."  a woman not a man like him.

A word is enough for the wise.

WORRY and ISSUES

Seating here this evening facing this laptop, so many issues came to my mind as well as so many like anger, rage. hope for a better tomorrow, disappointment and gratefulness that I am alive. I was to go for mid week revival service in the Church but was tired and a bit depressed.

Today again, the little business that I help to oversee, did not collect the goods they had paid for. This is the 3rd and last collection for this year. it was really demoralising and frustrating.
When the lady that goes for the collection called late in the afternoon, my heart skips a beat. Normally if all goes well, she does not call me but hands  over the goods to the agents that sell for them. Its the agents that will call and we negotiate the rate before they start selling. So when the young lady called, i was scared knowing its bad news.

I had to call the owner immediately to inform him that his company's name was not on the list of those to be paid. Although the man took it in good faith, I was really sad because I  was expecting some financial compensation for all my efforts this month.

You can just imagine with what I am going through, my husband came in with this attitude that i hate. Not wanting to be angry i came into the bedroom and just sat facing this laptop.
 I am just wondering why the company name was omitted a third time and what the offense is. There has been no report, publication or query from the organisation that they went to collect these goods that this our company had broken any law so its really disturbing.

All the hope that after the sales, some money will come to me and the owner will also  give me some money for Christmas are all dashed. I had planned to buy a new gearbox, and 2 tyres for the car and many other things for the house. Now nothing. How do I approach this man to give me money to fix my car when he had not done any business this month?  Man proposes but GOD disposes.

Why is it that when trouble comes, its not in trickle.  Maybe thats why i could not sleep yesterday. I finihed praying around 12:15midnight but was just tossing on the bed till 1am. After managing to sleep, I woke up around 3:30am, went to ease myself and still took a while before i slept again. I should have known God wanted me to pray but I was just tired so i did not.

Things are not going the way that  pleases me. It makes me question my confidence and prayers.  Many that I know and see are not praying or putting in so much effort.
There is no way someone's hope or expectation is dashed that you will not be weakened or sad.
But I know God is Faithful and Merciful, I know God will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear.
As for my husband, that's another story for another day.

Unfriendly Friends

Yesterday, I blogged about some dangerous women who allowed Envy and Jealousy to ruin their lives and sometimes, others.
This story below might sound familiar as most women are involved in this deadly passion or are victims. Its better for us all to know that unfriendly friends abound everywhere. Some called them frenemies. But whatever names they are called does not matter, what matters is that you dont put down your guard around those friends that you are not comfortable with.
Those friends that are always reminding you in a subtle way of your lacks or inadequacies, are not friends. They are your enemies.. They are jealous of what you are and what you have. They are envious and are ready to back-stab.  Stay away from them please.

 Anita* and Banke* clicked from the first day they were paired as desk mates, on the first day of secondary school. From that day onwards, they were inseparable. It didn’t help that, physically, they could almost pass for blood relatives. A few people even thought they were, in fact, sisters…twins even. Anita came from a middle class family, and though she never lacked, she always only had just enough. Even though it had meant nothing in their junior days, as they grew older, Anita found herself growing increasingly resentful of Banke’s family wealth. She resented how flashy and glamorous Banke was at the beginning of most terms, often after having spent the holiday abroad. She resented Banke’s locker always being full to overflowing, so much so that her excess could fill the lockers of 4 other students. She resented being thought of as the poorer one, the one who had never gotten on an airplane before. But in spite of her growing resentment, they remained very close, with Banke being completely oblivious of her friend’s misgivings.

Anita’s resentment depend further when Banke went off to the UK for University, while she had to make do with a local one. Regardless, they still kept in close contact. Anita was lucky to get a job with a bank, immediately after her NYSC, and relished being able to earn some good money of her own. Her happiness was short-lived when Banke announced her engagement, shortly after completing her Masters degree. Anita was enraged that Banke was getting married before her! Why did she always have to have it all?!! But she kept a plastic smile on her face, as she helped her friend with the wedding preparations, and danced her heart away on the wedding day. Every time she visited her friend, the envy Anita felt was so palpable, it almost choked her! She resented the fact that Banke had not only married before her, but that her husband was just as minted as, or even more so than, she was. Her only consolation was that Banke hadn’t conceived yet. If she had a baby before her, Anita thought was going to literally die!

Two years after Banke’s wedding, Anita married a man she had dated for only a few months, and was elated when, a few short months later, she found out she was pregnant! Banke’s joy over Anita’s pregnancy was sincere and enthusiastic, albeit with a tinge of melancholy. Anita, having known Banke for so long, sensed this melancholy, but chose to ignore it. She relished the fact that she FINALLY had achieved something over her friend Banke. She loved the fact that she was now the one with something the other didn’t have. She shared unnecessary information about her pregnancy, exaggerated everything she possibly could, and generally rubbed it in every chance she got. In all of this, Banke remained loyal and listened, with a smile, to all the pregnancy stories and plans for the baby. When she had the baby, Banke showered him with expensive gifts, which new Mom Anita resented. A year after the baby was born, Anita was pregnant again, and the cycle resumed afresh.

When Anita gave birth to her third child, Banke told her she and her husband had decided to try IVF. Anita felt the rage began to rise again. Even with 3 children, she still wanted to remain superior to Banke, and this would only happen, she reckoned, if Banke remained childless. Banke was disappointed by Anita’s lack of interest, but shared information about her cycle anyway. When she had her egg retrieval, when she had her embryo transfer, and when she was hospitalised for severe OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome), Anita showed her zero support. Even when Banke tried to reach out to her, she was always unavailable. It wasn’t until the cycle failed, that Anita rose from the woodworks! She arrived Banke’s house, with her 3 children in tow, and spent the entire visit talking about motherhood and how wonderful it was, and never once inquired about Banke’s mental and emotional health, not to mention her physical health, following the failed cycle. When they left, Banke and her husband, Fola*, had yet another fight about Anita. He had never thought of her as being a true friend of his wife’s, and had told her so endlessly. But Banke wouldn’t hear of it! Her defence of her friend was that Anita had probably wanted to take her mind off the failed cycle. Fola chose not to argue any further.

For her second cycle, Banke decided to travel to the States. So enraged was Anita when she heard this, that she couldn’t manage a complete conversation. In her mind, Banke cycling abroad was pretty much as good as a definite pregnancy. When Banke left, Anita e-mailed her every day, hoping to one day read about something going wrong. Even Fola was amazed at Anita’s sudden interest in their IVF quest, and Banke happily gave her husband the I-told-you-so smirk, each time Anita’s e-mails landed. She wanted to know everything! How Banke was responding to medication. How many embryos they were transferring. How her odds were looking. And then one day, Anita got the e-mail she had been looking forward to. Banke’s cycle had failed. Yippee! And almost immediately, Anita’s daily e-mails ceased. This time, Banke did notice.

Upon her return home, Banke waited for the opportunity to proven wrong, but she never got any. Anita didn’t show up for a visit until she had been home for three months. When she did visit, she asked, very nonchalantly, how she was coping. The rest of the visit was focused on stories about her wonderful kids, how blessed she was, and how many of their old friends were having kids, in and out of wedlock. The visit lasted barely an hour, but it seemed like an eternity for Banke. The scales were finally off her eyes, and she could clearly see that her so-called best friend did not have any empathy for her at all, but instead seemed to relish her misfortune.

When she was cycling again, Banke and Fola decided to keep it quiet, and travelled under the guise of taking a much needed holiday. When she had been gone 3 months, Anita e-mailed a one-liner “Ol girl, this your holiday na wa oh!”. By the fifth month, she e-mailed a more frantic “Babe, where you dey??!”. By month 7, Anita had reached panic mode, flooding all her social media timelines with messages, and sending her multiple e-mails a day. Banke didn’t respond to any one of these.

Anita couldn’t bear the suspense of not knowing what Banke was up to, and even drove all the way to Banke’s parents’ house, to ask after her. Banke had kept her mother updated with events unfolding with Anita, and the older woman wasn’t surprised in the least. Like Fola, she too had seen through Anita a long time ago. She gave Anita a flippant answer about Banke being fine, and still needing to rest. Anita knew there was definitely something up, and was furious that there was no way for her to confirm what exactly was going on.

She heard about the birth of Banke’s twins through mutual friends, and she felt like she had been doused with a combination of scalding hot, and freezing cold, water. Banke returned home with much fanfare, and all their friends and family were excited for them. They had finally become parents after nine long years of marriage. Anita didn’t show up once. She didn’t even call. The excuse she gave a mutual friend of theirs was that since Banke had chosen to keep the pregnancy a secret, she officially didn’t know she had given birth. This might have been a plausible excuse, except for the fact that NOBODY knew Banke was pregnant, mutual friend inclusive, but yet they had all shown up. The couple had only informed their immediate family, and even those ones had kept it under wraps.

Banke mourned the loss of her friendship with Anita, but proceeded to try to move on with her life. She thought the worst was over…except it wasn’t. Anita proceeded to spread nasty rumours of Banke feigning a pregnancy, adopting the twins, using a surrogate….there were so many variations of the lies, that it was hard to keep up with them. And Banke’s heart broke with each one. She couldn’t believe that this was her friend, her so-called best friend, doing this to her. In the end, she was forced to share pictures of her pregnancy on all her social media platforms.

I wish this was just a fictional tale, but sadly, it isn’t. I know these two women, have developed a close friendship with “Banke”, and have had long discussions with “Anita”. Even though I didn’t know them in the early days of their friendship, I was surprised at the level of bitterness Anita still has about Banke, citing instances from secondary school about how selfish and entitled Banke was, and how she thought the world revolved around her! When I asked her what on earth that had to do with the issue at hand, of her not being there when her friend needed her, and of her choosing to slander the poor girl instead, Anita couldn’t give me a logical answer, a meaningful connection between those days in the past (when her resentment obviously began), and today.

Alas, their friendship never did recover, and whilst Anita probably considers Banke an enemy, Banke has chosen to classify Anita as her “friend for a season”.

Women, especially, are notorious for being over competitive, even with their nearest and dearest. Sometimes, it is a case of healthy competition, but in other cases, it gets out of hand. The quest to be the “better one” sometimes pushes us overboard, into a sea of irrationality!
For some women, even if they have it all, the thought of the next woman having a little bit, is enough to drive them into a tailspin. Anita had carried a chip on her shoulder for Banke for so long, right from their childhood, and was holding on to the one thing she thought she had finally achieved over Banke…fertility! Even if she had 10 children, the thought of Banke having even 1 would have been enough to fuel Anita’s jealous rage.
Please be happy with what you have. Why count another's blessings instead of your own. The fact that you are alive and well is reason enough to be grateful and thankful. Envy and Jealousy is a spirit, a bad one. Don't allow that spirit to take hold of you. It destroys! May God keep and help us all!

Dangerous Women

THE evil of  'Face-Me-I-Slap-You' houses are numerous. A lot of terrible things happen in those tenement houses. Vices such as envy, jealousy, gossip, backbiting, fornication, adultery, child abuse etc abound there. Fighting among tenants are very very common and even killing during such fights. But when I read this story some weeks ago, about a woman killing another woman in their tenement house, and claiming the devil did it, I was stunned. I would not have imagined that a woman would killed another woman for a mere fight over soiled clothes.

What would have possessed a 40-year-old woman to kill her neighbour by slitting her throat with a knife? What would have taken hold of her mind, body and soul to transform her to a merciless and heartless human being? I mean what came over her and made her take a knife and slit another woman's throat that was not a rival? Even if they had quarreled that is not enough reason for her to kill another in such brutal and heartless way. .

It was even more alarming when Okeke claimed she did not know her neighbour had died until Police came to arrest her. What a senseless waste of human life. From the news, Helen Okeke, aka Mama Chinedu and Rosemary were neighbours in the Ikota Housing Estate in Lekki/Ajah axis of Lagos State.
Okeke, who said she was unmarried and had a son out of wedlock, asked the family of the deceased to forgive her, as she was not in control of herself during the incident. This is really sad.

More heartbreaking is the fact that the deceased, Rosemary,  was reportedly preparing for her wedding. The enemy is wicked. Why wait till after the ladies struggle to find a life partner before they snuffed life out of her? Sad.

And what caused this quarel that led to the slitting of throat?

The deceased returned home and observed that the clothes she spread on her door before leaving home earlier had been soiled with urine. Though she suspected the killer, Rosemary, she decided to report the incident to the landlady who pacified her. She left and went back to her room but death followed her because minutes after, neighbors heard her sudden cry for help. When they rushed in, Okeke had already slit her neck with a knife. Unfortunately, she died on her way to the hospital.

Hear what Okeke, who works as a cleaner, said when she was interviewed by journalist at Panti:

 “I have been living in that house for more than two years. The first time we fought, she shone her torch on me and I queried why she did that. She then hit me with the torch, and that was how we fought.
The landlady, Alhaja, never gave me any quit notice as she claimed. I was even the one preparing to leave the apartment because it was too small for me.On that day, she carried a bucket of water and stood in front of my room saying I should come out if I know I was woman enough.
“I had just returned from where I went to buy bread and was inside my room. I did not want to come out.
But a spirit just entered into my room and entered me. I was shaking uncontrollably and that was when I went out. I took a bucket of water and poured it on the floor in front of my room. But Rosemary poured her bucket of water on me, and that was when the fight started.
“I cannot explain what happened next. I have never had this kind of experience in my life. It was while I was at the police station that they said she was dead.
I need forgiveness from Rosemary and her family. I want people to learn from my example that fighting is not good.

 Actually, ENVY would have caused it. Envy is a feeling of grudge and a desire to have something that is possessed by another. Envy is deadly. Its a spirit that possesses one and causes rage and bitterness against another who seems to be doing better.
Helen was probably envious of Rosemary getting married while she is stuck with a child and no suitor in sight. She envied her coming marriage and goodluck and could not take it. When anyone allows such evil feeling to take hold of their mind, the outcome is always disastrous and fatal.
Instead of counting her own blessings, Okeke  was busy counting Rosemary's own and allowed the enemy into her mind and now she will pay for that gruesome murder.