infidelity

Lately, I have been facing crisis in my marriage and it bothers on infidelity. I have read a lot of books on why men cheat and the article I read in one of the magazines kind of gave several reasons. In the article, Professor Kat Hertlein, PHD., Professor of Human Development at the university of Nevada –Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist was quoted as saying that men cheat because of lack of sexual satisfaction. The report stated that approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships. Unfortunately that number has not changed much since 1950. This article gave several reasons for infidelity especially from men but i will just list few and summarised the details. One of the reasons men cheat is because they crave sexual variety

. This is according to David Buss, Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas and author of the Evolution of Desire; strategies of Human Mating (Basics Books). This could be seen from the recent scandals of men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger woods, Jesse James and John Edwards. I mean these men had lovely and beautiful wives at home and yet went out to seek other women who were lesser in beauty and intellect. Look at Jesse James and the ugly woman nicknamed bommbshell. You cannot compare that woman to Sandra Bullock his wife. These men had it all: talent, fame, money and a beautiful family yet with every thing to lose, they ran after

Sexual variety

and cheated on their wives. The desire to be with different women I guess is stronger and most exciting than any other feeling. Another top reason men cheat is their unhappiness with their mates. Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a simple reason which is boredom. Also men cheat especially if they are high-profile guys who have women throwing themselves at them. Women are attracted to men who have power and status, so public figures usually have plenty of opportunity to cheat. Buss says whether yours is a political Animal, an A-list celeb or just a cubicle mat, his motivation to cheat is the same. She Is not What She Used To Be Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go. At the onset of the marriage, the couple were happy with themselves and their physical look. But gradually, child birth, sedentry lifestyle take its toil on them and the look is no more appealing. Since men are controlled by sight, they start looking out and extra-marital is the next option. Anyway extramarital sex is cheaper and easier to get these days according to Buss.

Wives beware because if you get lazy, gained weight or does not just take care of yourself, a guy will start looking at other women,

Santagati says No one loves a Ball Buster Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than nagging wife. No man wants to be intimate with a cantekerous woman whose only stock in trade is nagging 24\7. Most men desire peace above all so if the house is too hot, the man seeks comfort and peace outside and ends up in another woman's arms. She does not get me Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. A deep fear of intimacy can be hard for some guys to overcome. This type of men/husbands are more likely to cheat. It’s the thrill Most guy who cheat claimed there is no sizzle and excitement in their marriage. They like to play with fire. It adds a level of danger which excites and thrills. Blame it on the hunter Often married men who cheat cant guite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of what is new.It is a primitive instint that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer. Only this time they are hunting and gathering new women. At times it maybe he married too young Satagati says or he just feels as if he hasn’t seen everything. So off he goes to explore. Biology, Baby The Relationship expert says Its the biological nature of men to be with as many female as possible. He said ‘once we have seen a woman nakedness several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you are Jessica Alba or Sienna miller, the man becomes accustomed to that body and wants to experience something different, lips and body types. He said men are only monogamous because

they realize love and friendship are more important than getting laid

Let me stop here. I had gone through all the reasons and I know, I have tried with the help of GOD to not give my husband any reason to go out but he did and it hurts so bad.

Thanksgiving Day

THANKSGIVING 2011 Today 24 November 2011 is Thanksgiving Day in America. All over the Net and all social media its the buzz.

Thanksgiving 2011 (also called turkey day) is a joyous, family festival celebrated primarilyy in the United States, Canada and other countries with lots of enthusiasm. This is a holiday special and commemorated to express gratitude and appreciation and as well as a sincere thanksgiving to God. It is a day to offer praise to God for all His blessings to the family, loved ones and friends. It is to thank all loved ones for all their support. Traditionally it has been a day to give thaks for a harvest that is bountiful and rich. Thanksgiving day is celebrated in November in the United States that is every forth thursday in November and in Canada it falls on the second monday in the month of October. THE exact origin of Thanksgiving in America cannot be determined but it is commomly believed that thanksgiving first took place at plymouth plantation in Massachsetts in 1621. This festive gathering occured early in hisory and was practiced after harvest festivities. But accoring to Robin Gioia and Michael Gannon, Author and teacher at the university of Florida the earliest' thanksgiving' celebrated in the United States was first celebrated on September 8,1565 by the Spaniards. In Canada, from all i read on the internet and books, there is strong convinction that the celebration started in 1576. Whether it was in the 15th Century or 16th Century, Thanksgiving is good. It gives all glory and honour to God who gives life and power to create wealth to us all. The fact that a NATION sets a day aside to thank God and appreciate Him is commedable. There is no way that Nation will ever lack. God will always show up for that nation. It is one thing to set aside a day to thank God but it another thing to actually thank HIM. I wish all these Countries the best and pray our NATION will emulate these Countries and set aside a day for us all to Thank GOD for His Love and Mercies toward us. iF not for GOD where would we be now?

2011 National Honours Awards

Monday 14th November 2011, Nigerian Government honoured 355 of her Citizens who have distinguished themselves in their chosen field of endeavours. Starting with the current Speaker of the House of Representatives to Political Aides, Entertainers, Scholars, Enterpreneurs and Bankers, these men and women were honoured for their contribution to the upliftment of Nigeria and Nigerians in general. For the Enterpreneurs, they are adding value but those Politicians? I doubt. So many were honoured which to me, we do not have reason to honour them. Some of those Political Aides of the President or Vice that were honoured, why were they honoured? Is it because they ran errands for Mr. President? Why would the Lady that liase between the President and the National Assembly be honoured with National Award? She goes to do

AMEBO

to the President on what transpired on the floor every time the House seats. There are so many unemployed Nigerians who will do better

olofofo

than that idle woman. When she finished idling away sleeping, gisting and sharing money in

Ghana-Must-Go-Bags

to members, she goes back to Aso Villa for downloads of the day. Does that merit an Award? Or do you consider the Comptroller General of Nigeria Custom Service a worthy candidate to be conferred with the National honour when all the contrabands are still finding their ways into the Nigerian market?. Almost all the Heads of Security Agencies were conferred with one title or the other and BOKO HARAM members are killing Nigerians every minutes especially in the North. Or is it those corrupt Governors that have stolen all the money meant for the development of their States that deserve to be honoured? To me most of them had no reason to be there. No wonder PROFESSOR CHINUA ACHEBE rejected the Award when he saw the caliber of people being conferred with the Awards. He stated

the reasons for rejecting the offer when it was first made have not been addressed let alone solved. It is inappropriate to offer it again to me. I must therefore regretfully decline the offer again.

One of the reasons for rejecting it before was poor governance and the second was the poor conduct of elections and political structures. The President spoke person in a statement however said that the President was surprised by the Professor's claim. He further stated that the issues which made the Professor to reject the Award seven years ago were addressed by Jonathan. For example, the Electoral reforms undertaken by the administration.

The Jonathan administration has made tremendous efforts to positively change the political architecture complained about by theimprovements in the conduct of the last general election which was credible. Politically, Nigeria cannot be said to be where it was in 2004 as the Jonathan administration has embarked on extensive electoral reforms to institute a regime of electoral integrity that all Nigerians can be proud of.

For Alhaji Aliyu Dangote of Dangote Industries, he deserved the Award and more.

PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN justified Federal Government's decision to confer on business mogul, Alhaji Aliko Dangote, with the second higest national honour award of the Grand Commander of the Order of the Niger, GCON, saying that the recipient deserved the feat because of his contributions to Nigeria's Industrial greatness.

Alhaji Aliko Dangote, the President of Dangote Group and member of the National Economic Management Team, NEMT, becomes the first Nigerian who is not a top Politician or Political Appointee to bag the prestigious honour. The President said

I am having the GCFR the highest in the land by virtue of the fact that I am the President of the Country, but if i am not the President another person must be the President of Nigeria. but if Aliko did not have that business acumen to build that empire probably we wouldn't have had somebody to employ.

Quite correct President. Dangote is the highest employer of labour in Nigeria after the Federal Government. He has revived a lot of the ailing industries and build new factories all over Nigeria. He is still building, manufacturing and empowering millions all over the Country. These are the calibre of people to be honoured and not idle politicians whose only claim to fame is hanging around the corridors of power. Congratulations to my Diva, GENEVIEVE NNAJI

Congratulations to Edo State Governor, Comrade Adams Oshiomole. He is a transformer. He has transformed the State from a civil servant State to an industrial Centre.

BOKO HARAM & attacks

Yesterday, 4th November, 2011, BOKO HARAM struck again killing 66 people and maiming several others in Damaturu, the capital of Katsina State. Boko Haram has gradually become an institution to be feared and dreaded by all. At the rate they are operating, if nothing drastic and urgently is done by the Federal government to stop the terrorist sect, the northern part of this country is going into extinction. Boko Haram Sect has so far killed more than 300 people. They claimed it is a holy instruction and one of their leaders said

" Whomever we kill we kill because Allah says we should kill and we kill for a reason''

. The group has so far refused to meet with the Federal Government representatives to negotiate. Up till now, the only reason we know is that the Sect wants the full implementation of strict Shariah Law across Nigeria. Even the strict implementation of Sharia Laws in the North is not possible because some states in the North has more than 40 percents christians. So implementing it across Nigeria is not possible. Sharia Laws is for Moslems and not Christians. They so believed in this implementation of Sharia that one of their leaders that agreed to see the former Head of States, Olusegun Obasanjo for peace was killed. These bombing and killing started years ago mostly in Maiduguri in Borno and Bauchi. But recently, Yobe, Katsina, Kaduna, Niger have had their citizens killed and properties destroyed by this terrorist group. Unfortunately, our security agencies are no match for these terrorists. In 2009, the Police crack down on the Sect and several of them were killed including the leader Mohammed Yusuf who died in Police custody. Instead of them to continue and flush out the group from their hiding places, they went to sleep. The Sect members regrouped and started a well coordinated attack on the Politicians and security agencies. The attacks on the Security Agencies is the Sect revenge on the killing of their leader the year before. The hit men, the Assasins and suicide bombers of the Sect target Government Officials, Police Officers, Soldiers and Clerics who dare condemn their activities. In September, Obasanjo met with the family of Mohammed Yusuf to discuss how to end the carnage and restore peace to the region.The family received the former President and according to the inlaw offered a list of demands and was very hopeful about the chances for peace. Unfortunately, FUGU, that played host to Obasanjo was killed within 48 hours in a dastardly manner. It was so sad. Infact some Governors in the North offered Amnesty to the Sect Members but they refused. Instead of the attacks stopping, it is on the increase. At a point it was rumoured that they were going to attack the 3rd mainland bridge in Lagos (which is the longest connecting bridge from the island of the city to the mainland). The group bombed the UN Office in Abuja in August killing 24 people and wounding more than 118. This attack on friday, the day of their worship is a suspect and its the sect greatest destruction of life and property so far. There were multiple attacks in three major cities, Maiduguri, Potiskum and DAMATURU all in the North Eastern part of this country. The attacks left 80 people dead, worship places destroyed and several public buildings including a bank vandalised. The Boko Haram Sect has claimed responsibility and one of their spokeperson promised

''more attacks are on the way.''

May the souls of the departed so far from the attacks of this Sect rest in peace. May GOD help us all and deliver us from evil.

Rams and all

On Monday, the 31st of October, on the way to work, i saw that the whole of Iganmu by Brewery Bus stop was blocked by trailers bringing rams from the North of the country to Lagos for sale.

On tuesday, 1st November, we went to Ikeja to check a new apartment for rent. After checking the house( the house is actually run down) we went out to ask the people in the neighborhood about the environment. IT was outside there that we saw two rams fighting. Ram fighting is a common sight in Lagos during the moslem festivities. Infact a competition is organised annually to pick the strongest and fittest ram.

Find below the many of such ram fighting this season.

Ram fighting only occurs during ''Ileya festivals'' meaning ''going home for celebration'' in yoruba language. It is a fun game and many young and not so young people actually get involved in it. There is a lot of betting involved too and at times, the losing side does not take it easy. The bigger the rams, the fiercest the fights.

FLYING DANA AIR

On Saturday, 1st of October 2011, I took a Dana Air flight from Lagos to Abuja in the afternoon. At the Lagos Airport, my friend just wanted to take any flight on the ground but i insisted that it has to be Dana because i have a business relationship with Aquadana waters (A sister's company). She accepted so we went to their booth. One of the ticketing clerks told us initially that the flight on ground was fully booked but later changed and asked us to pay a higher rate. My friend was questioning the new rate because she came to Lagos on friday and used Dana since she missed her preferred Chanchangi Airline. The ticketing clerk then changed and asked us to pay the normal fare in the next booth. When we paid and was picking up our luggages to go check in, she called out that we should give her money for slashing the Airfare for us. I was shocked. There is supposed to be a standard fare and not as dictated by common clerks who are dubious and corrupt. When we finally boarded, i looked around and saw that the seats in the aircraft were not all taken. The plane was not full. Why was the ticketing clerk lying then? What was she trying to prove? I looked at the passengers and wondered if they were conned too. I realised what the clerk did was to trick people into believing she reduced airfare for us so we should show appreciation by tipping her. I mean her because she is a lady. She is dark in complexion and plump. I really dont want to go into more details because i dont want to give her away. But I think the management should check their staff regularly and probably get people who would monitor them. The organisation can get consultants who would pose as customers. It is not always that someone would book online. With this attitude of their ticketing clerks, i would rather go to an airline where they are professionals and honest. Even when we were weighing our bags, I was waiting to hear what they have to bill me. At that point, i thought they were all out to rip us off. Dont get me wrong, this is not the first time I am taking Dana Air but the attitude of their representatives that day was suspect through and through. Anyway, they gave us cup cakes in the colour of our flag, green and white to celebrate the 51st Independence anniversary. Stayed in Abuja for a week and then headed back to Lagos. I still used DANA Air but this time I had to book online. Did not want stories and being at the mercy of one stupid ticketing clerk. If she has done something deserving of a thank you, I wouldnt mind but to seat in a small booth and using her office to extort and steal is wrong. Unfortunately, the other time, I used Chanchangi instead. .